


Dunlap's Book of Poetry and Prose

by AParticularlyLargeBear



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:29:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25915882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AParticularlyLargeBear/pseuds/AParticularlyLargeBear
Summary: Dunlap Figueroa of the Hades Tigers waxes lyrical.(Twitter crossposts, simply so I have somewhere to store them).
Kudos: 16





	1. Beyond the Glitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dunlap -really- didn't enjoy that out of bounds adventure.

Beyond the boundaries of the Tiger den,

Sights and sounds outside all ken.

A harrowing journey of shinesplark and clip,

The fabric of Hades unwinds and slips.

Beneath the field of wrath and woe.

Within the Circle. It lays below.


	2. Trapped in Clip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dunlap is stuck out of bounds.

She is in glitch step'ped in so far that, should she wade no more,

Returning were as tedious as go o'er.


	3. Snide on Bendie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dunlap gets snippy in an argument with Schneider Bendie.
> 
> (Dunlap is not accepting comments at this time that their pitched game was the one the Tigers lost in the Season 3 championship series)

Schneider Bendie, artist of finals choke,

come undone shrouded in Underworld dark.

Mourning Mills: If only so skilled their stroke,

If only their bat as fierce as their bark.


	4. A Response To Crabs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dunlap is unhappy with the Crabs' admission they were trying to poach Jess Telephone in the offseason.

An honest thief, a scoundrel thief remains,

Seeking to shower Jess with Crab refrains.

Underworld anger, outrage fit to burst,

The Tigers' Defiance: We stole her first.


	5. Vegetable Lament

Woe, what is tragedy? To be barred from righteous appropriation of hoarded wealth by a turnip.


	6. Vs. Dalé, Season 4 Game 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one didn't quite go as plan for Dunlap, and after giving up a five-run inning, they were sufficiently rattled to stop monologuing.

Oh! To take the mound for Tigers!

Oh! To unleash pitching perfection!

Tis time for the showcase, the display!

Tis time for Figueroa versus the Dalé!

[Dennis, denied!]

[Washington, washed out!]

The second inning, the game underfoot

A developing struggle, blaseballs flying

Shelled showers, the wrath of the book

Remember audience: this splort has no crying!

[Ride on, Horseman!]

(Hahn Fox hits a triple, scoring)

[Outfo--

oh.

hm.]

Harness this, the power of the ___-ball!

Invention of Figueroa, strike hitters all!

If runs ye seek, best beg and crawl

but the answer: a simple denial!

[Hm. Well. She has had better]

[Farewell, Farrel!]

[Calamity for Caleb]

(Dunlap catches a steal)

[Thievery is the purview of knaves!]

Alright it's going to be honest keeping up a constant soliloquy is a little difficult when the game is turning out to be just slightly more challenging than it had initially anticipated. As such it will uh, take the opportunity to--pick this up later.


	7. Irksome Turnip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cornered on their (accidental?) flirtations with Schneider Bendie, Dunlap cannot let this stand, and hits back at their teammate Paula Turnip. (With Paula's dialogue from her RPing account Turniponblase)

PAULA: Is this flirting?

DUNLAP: Stay out of this, root vegetable.

PAULA: That wasn't a no.

DUNLAP

No! They deny it, a thousand times nay!

Begone from here meddlesome Turnip knave!

'Tis no, from each nightfall 'til break of day!

Begone, tis naught but idle talk ye crave!


	8. Thank you, Combs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the behest of a message left to them in the effects of the tragically incinerated Combs Duende, Dunlap and Schneider headed on a trip.

From car, to bank, to stadium, to train,

A questing pair ventured across the land,

The wishes of their friend to entertain,

Once rivals, now advancing hand-in-hand.


	9. A Statement, Season 7 Siesta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dunlap needs to get a few things off their chest, in the wake of a trying week of loss in Blaseball.

Friends.

‘Tis no secret my struggles through this season. I am not recovered, but I am improved. ‘Tis time for me to lay myself bare. I wish to speak freely, from the heart. I am aware of the concern I have evoked, and to my shame, the worry that I have inflicted on others.

Fish told me that I need not apologise, and while I will not apologise for grief, it would be remiss of me not to acknowledge my actions. This, then, is not a manifesto of regret, but a promise to improve and look to the future.

Ren, Peanutiel, Randy, Spears, Randy II. You are my teammates and I have been absent to all of you. This is not a mistake I intend to repeat.

Kick Rocks. Sorry, coach. I will do better.

Fearful Symmetry. Sorry, ma’am.

Famous. We still have a production to host, do we not? Lang, likewise.

Hiroto. Rival, friend. I have withdrawn myself from you, just as so many others. I shall not do so again. We have many more pitches to throw and many more caves to delve.

Richmond. I have been reluctant to welcome you. I have been cruel to place the blame upon you as Fish’s replacement. You are a stripe, and I shall treat you as such. 

Violet, Carmelo, Mummy. I have not been the teammate that you deserve. I have not supported you into the fold. I have scarcely acknowledged your presence. Now then, formally: Welcome to Hades, new stripes. Let us beget Violence with Violence.

Frasier. You were here so briefly and deserved so much more, especially from me. RIV.

Nagomi. You have reached out to me in the way that you do best, and I have not taken your hand. It is time to start another run.

Esme, Sanoval, Dovenpart, Richardson, Math. All of you tried to lend me your aid, when you did not have to. Thank you. Thank you so very much. 

Gnome Father. Thank you for everything. I’ll make you proud. 

Jessica, Nagomi. You are both my former teammates. I am sorry not to have been there for you both through your losses, through your isolation. Jessica. You are fantastic, and loved. Nagomi, we will get you out of there.

Gen. You have grown so much. Thank you for caring, and sorry to have made you worry.

Cali. [Flower. Dinosaur. Heart. Plant. Plant. Flower. Heart.]

Zion. More than most of us you have suffered and struggled, and where I could, should have been a pillar to you, I was not. I am sorry. If you can forgive me, if you will have me back, I would gladly be your teammate and friend once again.

Wesley. Thank you again, for indulging my desire for a poetic stage.

Dominic. I was not there for your team or for you. …Thank you for everything. I’ll be there for them. LGMBLDM. 

Yazmin, dearest friend. I know you remain somewhere in Elysium. I know too that the ‘Bloodlust’ Yazmin is out there. I wish the very best for both of you. I am sorry that I allowed what happened to you to unseat me so. I will follow your examples and strive to improve each and every day.

Scorpler. I made a vow to you and it is one I renew today, one I intend to keep in full.

Tome Father, Moody.

I miss you. I miss you every day. 

There is more that I can yet do. And I will.

Schneider. My heart. Thank you for all that you’ve done. I am sorry that I have not been able to give back the same support you gave to me. I intend to. I intend to a dozen times over. I love you.

Irksome vegetable, Paula. I…

You are extraordinary, and I am so, so, so sorry that I have not shared the burden with you. I’m here now. I can only ask your forgiveness, and extend my gratitude for the help you have attempted to give me, in spite of my condition.

Fish.

Thank you for waiting for me.

_ Dunlap Figueroa _


	10. Unredeemed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dunlap has some opinions about the so-called redemption of Jaylen Hotdogfingers.

You think that it is over?

You think your dues repaid?

You think yourself the hero?

You think the judgement laid?

A redemption arc is not enough to heal the scars

The grief and anger struck deep our hearts

Upon those days you streaked in blood

The mic alone can't stem the flood.

Our fallen watch within the hall

Struck down upon the field of splort

Repentence you claim against them all

For your attempt the nut to thwart?

Your actions unanswered

apologies unwritten

crimes unabsolved

sorrow unspoken

promises broken

In your defeat, now forlorn,

Plead you 'forgive and forget'?

To the lost, and the torn.

You maintain your debt.


End file.
